When it comes to managing money, my husband, Mark, and I couldn’t be more different! We’ve found these differences cause serious budget challenges that I’m sure so many couples can relate to. I’m a spender through and through. I love giving gifts, splurging on some of the latest trending items, or trying out new hobbies or projects. Mark, on the other hand, is a textbook saver. He carefully tracks every penny, calculates future expenses, and enjoys watching our savings and investments grow. While I’m dreaming of our next vacation or upgrade to our home, he’s focused on making sure we’re prepared for retirement or any curveballs life might throw our way.
Why Spending is My Jam
As a spender, I live more in the moment. I believe life is short, and we should enjoy it while we have the means to (both physically and financially). Whether it’s buying “just because” gifts or taking a trip, spending money brings me joy and creates memories I know we’ll cherish forever.
My Strengths as a Spender
- I tend to be more spontaneous and embrace opportunities. If I want something, I go for it rather than analyze a purchase.
- Our vacations (and amazing memories) have all been due to my spending tendency – and prodding Mark.
But let’s be honest, there are challenges too.
My Struggles as a Spender
- I used to rely on credit cards to keep up with my lifestyle, which led to debt. Before I met Mark, I had to claw my way out of debt (student loans and credit cards)
- Budgeting feels so restrictive and is a chore to me.
- I’ve had moments of panic when an unexpected expense popped up, and I realized I didn’t have enough saved.
Before we were married, knew I needed some balance so I cut back and paid off my debt. But my natural tendency as a spender is something I still work on. I’m so thankful that Mark and I are the opposite since his saver mindset brought stability to finances.
Mark: The Saver in the Relationship
Mark approaches money with laser focus. He’s the kind of guy who gets excited about spreadsheets, pays off the credit card balance every month, and reminds me to “think about the long term.” I used to tease him about being cheap and a killjoy, but now I see how valuable his approach is.
Mark’s Strengths as a Saver
- He’s disciplined and consistent—qualities I admire and wish I had more of.
- Thanks to Mark, we’re prepared for emergencies and big expenses like home repairs and loss of income.
- Because of his approach, we are on track for long-term goals like retirement or saving up for vehicle vehicle purchases.
Of course, even savers like Mark have their challenges.
Mark’s Struggles as a Saver
- He sometimes delays enjoyment in favor of saving for tomorrow.
- Mark’s cautious nature means he’s hesitant to take financial risks, even when they might pay off.
- His frugality sometimes causes tension when I want to splurge.
Spender vs. Saver: Our Honest Conversation
Mark and I recently sat down to record a YouTube video where we had an honest and (surprisingly fun!) conversation about our budget challenges and differences in how we approach money. We shared the highs and lows of being a spender (me) married to a saver (Mark), talked about the arguments we used to have, and how we’ve learned to find common ground over the years. It’s a candid look at how two completely opposite financial personalities can work together to create a balanced and happy life. We hope this gives you some laughs, insights, and practical tips for navigating money in your relationships.
Our Biggest Differences as a Spender and Saver
Mark and I have different philosophies about money. I focus on the present, while he’s always thinking about the future. I feel joy and excitement when I spend, while he gets satisfaction from growing our savings.
These differences used to lead to serious budget challenges and arguments: I thought he was too rigid and cheap and he thought I was careless and irresponsible. But over time, we’ve learned that our opposite approaches to money actually complement each other well.
How We Found Balance and Overcame Budget Challenges
Here’s how Mark and I have worked to bridge the gap between my spender tendencies and his saver instincts:
For Me (the Spender):
- Rather than impulse buying, I research items and let them sit in my online shopping cart for at least several days. This helps me to evaluate whether something is worth purchasing or just an impulse
- I’ve learned to distinguish between needs and wants—though I still allow myself wants I limit myself on how frequently I splurge.
- Mark and I discuss the budget and he reminds me where we are for the month.
For Mark (the Saver):
- Mark created a “fun fund” for us, so we can spend money on experiences we love without stressing about it.
- He’s learning to loosen up and embrace small indulgences, like a nice dinner or a weekend trip.
- Mark has started exploring calculated risks with investments, which has helped us grow our investments faster than sticking to savings accounts alone.
What We’ve Learned From Our Budget Challenges
Through our marriage, I’ve realized that being a spender isn’t inherently bad, and neither is being a saver. Both personalities have strengths, and the real magic happens when you strike a balance.
Mark helps me plan for the future, so I feel secure and confident. I help him enjoy the present, so he feels fulfilled and happy. Together, we’ve created a system that allows us to live our best life now while ensuring we’re prepared for whatever comes next.
Final Thoughts
If you’re experiencing budget challenges in your tendencies to spend or save, the key is to find ways to complement your partner. Mark has a quiz you can download here to help you figure out your tendencies. If you have more thoughts on how spenders or savers work, I’d love to hear your story in the comments below!